Surrendering To The Process
ETIW Weekly Newsletter: January 23rd 2024
Read, Listen, Or Watch
(can be played in the background/with phone locked)
Newsletter reading with soothing birds, river streams, and relaxing yet contemplative piano music.
Written December 4th, 2023
“There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,...”
~ Ecclesiastes 3 NIV ~
If you have never heard this Bible verse, I implore you to look it up and read it. It is not very long but is full of simple truths.
The book of Ecclesiastes is rumored to have been written by King Solomon, one of the most powerful and beloved Kings of the Bible. Solomon was a man who knew of the riches of life in all its material forms, yet wrote a heart-wrenching philosophical exploration into the complexities of the human experience. Namely, the futility of striving for material gains while forfeiting spiritual truths.
The main point Chapter 3 seems to be making is that everything has its appointed time.
Life will not always be perfect nor will it always be undesirable. Many spiritual religions express this same narrative. for example, Taoism popularized what is known as the yin and yang dynamic of life.
Although my spiritual practice leans greatly and predominantly towards Christianity
due to my belief in the Trinity and Jesus Christ, I feel it would be folly to say other spiritual practices or religions are completely void of any truth.
However, I truly believe it is important to stay vigilant because the Bible does warn us that the enemy comes disguised as an angel of light.
This has been true in my life.
I have experienced the folly of half-truths repackaged as deep revelations. One of the most dangerous truths I fell into was the repackaging of “manifestation”. When I began to naturally pray to God again, rather than seeing myself as God (a belief the “new age” spiritual movement often advocates for) I began to see how I was led away from God’s truths using God’s word. Through new-age teachers like Neville Goddard, Bible verses and stories were often reinterpreted and taken out of context.
The Enemy, Satan, The Devil, or whatever you choose to call it,
saw my desire for success due to familial pressures and expectations. However, he also noticed my deep desire for God and inner wisdom. I became the perfect candidate for “Manifestion Based New Age” taught through the lens of Christian biblical truths. I began to see myself as the creator. The one who calls the shots and sets the process in motion.
At first, this revelation seemed exciting,
like I had awoken to my true worth and potential. I was led to believe I was a human who had simply forgotten that she was God playing pretend. According to these false teachings, I had simply forgotten my true nature and now had to embark on a journey of self-realization. A journey that promised me the ability to manipulate my world and life to my will.
There was no need to surrender to the process. I was the process and the process was me.
Of course, this false way of seeing the world quickly became destructive. If things were not working out, I simply was not accepting my truth hard enough. I wasn’t visualizing the right way, I wasn’t aligned to my “highest frequency” and I was not ascended enough to be worthy of my highest form…my “God Self”.
When I began to pray earnestly to God, instead of my “god self”, a desire to dive deeply into the Bible began to grow within me.
Within a few months, I had gone from Genesis to Revelations. It wasn’t until I read the Bible on my own, in this way, that I was able to truly tap into the mind of God. Once finished, I was faced with an incontestable fact. I was not God.
As I allowed the false teaching to fall away and began to fight for the release of things, habits, and situations that were keeping me captive in my life, God helped me see that not only was I, not Him, but why in the world would I want to be? My soul does not crave to be in charge of the universe. It was not created for that. The desires I had that led me to believe that, were fueled by my desire to be loved, fully and truly.
I know, it sounds so cliche, but it’s the truth.
It’s my truth. Maybe it is yours too. Maybe you know what I mean. Perhaps you too have experienced moments of not feeling good enough, not feeling cared for, and not feeling valuable for just being alive.
The most powerful lesson I learned during my Bible reading binge is this:
There truly is a season for everything, but to go through those seasons with God, is to be in the eye of every storm and the heart of every paradise.
Lately, I have been in a version of my life that could be considered my “wilderness” phase. I often feel like I am lost and confused, roaming the desert of my expectations and aspirations. Those who I know have my best interest at heart often tell me to give up and choose the conventional path. Abandon my wilderness, even though I know it will ultimately lead to my paradise.
I cannot. In this wilderness, I find myself growing as a person.
The parts of me that are wilting and breaking off are parts that have been keeping me stuck. To rush this process, would be futile. Autumn leaves must fall for spring flowers to bloom. To doubt the value of this transition would be to doubt what I know to be true in my heart…The God I serve is with me through all of this.
I see his invisible hands every time something unexpected occurs.
I feel his eyes looking at me with tender love when I falter and make a mistake I know I must outgrow. Reading the Bible as a whole showed me a glimpse of the way God works. I could see how one individual’s life was perfectly orchestrated to connect with another’s for generations to come. I understood why the Lord said:
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
~ Isaiah 55:8 ~
I do not know the full purpose of my life or existence.
But to know is not my job. I am not the creator of the universe, but I am amongst his most prized creations. As humans, we have all been blessed with the opportunity to draw closer to God. Through our connection with Him, we can begin to feel peace in life’s unknowns. So our lives can align with His highest intentions.
Chapter 3 of Ecclesiastes ends by saying “So I saw that there is nothing better for a person than to enjoy their work, because that is their lot. For who can bring them to see what will happen after them?”
As I pray for changed circumstances and preparations for my next season of life, I am doing what I can to find joy and pleasure in the works I have been blessed with the opportunity to do. I am choosing to focus my energy on building my skills and abilities as a brand manager, entrepreneur, and artist.
All I can do is enjoy this work and learn to surrender to my unique process.
Allowing myself to be transformed from the inside out. I do not know who my creations are meant to impact. But I do know that I aim to live my life surrendered to the unknown. As I continue to walk down this faith-based path, I find myself unraveling the most precious present any human could ever receive…
